Monday, May 23, 2011

Can't Miss Me Til I'm Gone

 He showed up at my house and started the conversation with the cliche "I really care about you but..." 

It's been a little over a week since the breakup which still can only be described as classic 'its-not-you-its-me' cop out. Yesterday was the first day that I woke up and truly believed that the relationship was over. For the week between, I'd heard from him everyday and was functioning with the thought that he'd changed his mind or was reconsidering his decision.

I think this weekend was the first step to moving on. Lots of great support, encouragement, and conversations centered more around what I can do with this situation I've been presented, and less focused on "what went wrong" because in my opinion - nothing. He even told me "you didn't change and I didn't change". It crushes me to think of all the hope I had for this short-lived relationship; despite my biggest fears and apprehensions I allowed myself to jump in with both feet and let myself be vulnerable. I followed the path that he'd laid out but it turns out he wasn't ready to walk down it with me and there's nothing I can (or want to do) to change his mind. There was life before him and now I look forward to finding out what this next chapter of my life will hold. Mama Rose has been full of bumper sticker cliches this week, from layers of onions to kissing frogs, but I think the best piece of advice was that "it's takes lots of chapters to make a good book".

The week long progression of where my mind went can be pretty accurately described through a series of country music videos (have you ever noticed that when you have extreme emotions every song you hear seems to apply directly to your situation? - yeah, me neither.)